Our world is fueled by violence, abuse, stress, self-loathing, guilt, shame, depression and anxiety…..We hold onto so much resentment and hate…….Why?
What use is this to us?
How do we forgive others and seek forgiveness?
I remember I struggled most of my life coming to terms with why someone did what they did to me. For Years, I held so much resentment and hate towards them. We can waste so much time and energy on harbouring negative feelings towards another – energy much better spent channeling into something positive.
It wasn’t until later in life that I experienced a deeper level of understanding about what makes people tick.
We don’t know what we don’t know…… We take action based on what we know at the time and what we believe to be true, even if it isn’t.
We are products of our biology, our environment, developing our belief systems. And what we do or don’t do is not based on right or wrong, it’s what we believe or perceive it to be at the time. We can only navigate this world with the tools that we are given…..Once you grasp this concept, this in itself is a powerful level of understanding.
So in forgiving someone we first must seek to understand what level of understanding they have, what belief systems have been instilled & , what environment &/or experiences were they exposed to. What had caused them on a deeper level to do what they did to us or what we did to them?
Once we look at a scenario from this point of view we can then begin to forgive others and ourselves for not knowing, for not having all the information needed at the time.
For example – Imagine a child who is brought up in a violent home, they see violence every day, it becomes normal. It then becomes acceptable behaviour based on what they have been taught, their beliefs and their environment. It’s very hard and takes a long time to change someone’s beliefs after enduring that, to bring them to a new level of understanding.
Sometimes we cannot forgive because we are unable to see people in any other light. By holding this singular view & not digging deeper, the feelings of anger, resentment or even hate will continue.
‘Seek to Understand not be Understood’
By doing this it will give you the freedom and inner peace you so desperately seek. This will open new and exciting doors that you never new existed.
Peter Hawtin & Loretta Morgan
From Struggle To Success
info@fromstruggletosuccess.com.au
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